time won't heal
I am feeling like I want to go back to the time when mom is exist. It's been almost 12 years ago, but the feelings is still vivid and fresh on my mind like it was happened yesterday. M y feelings of sorrow are bone-deep. I don’t need to remember with any amount of clarity to feel overwhelmingly sad. I am a paradox of opposite emotions, which is confusing but fine. Life after a loss is merely perplexing and, if I didn’t know it’s normal to experience grief years after a loss , I think I’d be feeling pretty crazy right about now. My mom was “home” – it existed within her – and now that she’s gone, I’ll never be able to truly return. I am lost. I wish I could ask her how would I respond when thing get worse, how would I respond if someone hate me, how would I respond if I don't feel enough. And there are so other things I wish I could ask her. Also, I want tell her everything I did. On the day I've got medals at school or university, on my graduation day, on my first day