Paradox.

i wanna tell you something,

about a dumb yet loveable concept every human being dream on

a relationship.

i dont even want to tell you what kind of relationship goals i wanna be

cause i have none actually,

i am that clueless living on 20s and got the less expectation of being in relationship.

there were a time i was relate to any kind of mellow songs on radio or my playlist

a time i was sleepless cause someone didnt replied since forever

a time i was overthinking on something that i dont know it will happen or not

a time i was crying a river like a drama queen because of this stupid minded

i am not blaming anyone, but myself,

with my drama 

with my ego

with my imagination

than i was realized, that wasn’t me who struggle too much,

that wasn’t him that fucked up

this is us, that’s trying to handle each other.

i was realized, being in relationship It's not about only him who i am going to deal with, but all the people around him, and even the whole things in his life. His family, his friends, his problems, his past and even his comfort zone. Have I been ready enough to meet his family ? Have I been brave enough to come into his comfort zone? Have I been ready enough to deal with him in bad and good sides of him? -because some said, people only shows their good image while dating.

It's never easy to deal with someone who will be your whole life time partner. 

Your significant other. 

It takes time. It takes much effort. Because, diving into your mind and soul will never be as easy as praising your appearance.

as i grow together lately, i found something on my life. 

Love is living on a quote.

concept and phrase.

cause we aren’t living on a fairytale that your prince is bloody charming comes up with a white horse and treat you like a princess. Live on a relation that full of cute surprises on your monthly date, date with you all day long till he cant socialize with other.

i think that we are in an official relation we need to trust him/her. It involves a lot of forgiveness. You have to accept the fact that your partner isnt perfect & will hurt you, disappoint you and upset you, You have to figure it out if you’re willing to go through ups and downs with them.

someone ever asked me,

“if i loved by someone, what kind of reason you want to be loved”

and i get one now,

i want to be loved by my soul,

cause looks arent everlasting,

or 

cause i have none

wkwkwk

at the end, i have know that love is a paradox.

maybe you are the reason tears and anger and sadness to my eyes

yet you are the same person who’s there to wipe off

you bring both rain and hurricane to my weather

yet you are the form of sunshine that brings a rainbow

no one can make me feel as small

and

none can make me feel as big as you

you are my favorite paradox.

its about creating a bond.

not hold on a heart that full of scars.